Trials

These past few days have been days I know I do not want to relive but I know I have grown stronger and closer to my Heavenly Father. Saturday I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks. I had not told very many people I was pregnant because I wanted to wait until I had my first doctors appointment where I could hear the heartbeat. With Brayden I was very sick and nauseated. I noticed that this pregnancy felt different. I was only nauseated if I did not eat and I felt really good. This concerned me a little but I tried to stay positive and keep the thought of a miscarriage out of my mind.

Last Thursday I started to spot. Right there I knew this was not a good sign. I immediately went to Jeff and we both started to look up on the internet what this could be. I did not know what else to do so I asked Jeff for a comfort blessing. The blessing said some beautiful things and I felt at peace. We felt I had a 50\50 chance of keeping this baby.

Friday I woke up and the spotting became very heavy. This is when I knew I was going to lose the baby. Immediately I tried calling around to see if a doctor would see me. After a lot of calls and frustration I prayed to my Heavenly Father that he would guide me to a good doctor and that they would take me in today. I needed help with my burdens. Immediately a doctors name came to my mind that a good friend in my ward recommended. I called the office and the receptionist said she was going to personally ask the doctor if she could squeeze me in. Ten minutes later the receptionist called back and I had an appointment at 1:00 p.m. I got a babysitter for Brayden and Jeff and I were off to my appointment. The doctor confirmed I was having a miscarriage and she was very personable and nice to Jeff and I. We decided to let me pass the baby on my own instead of having a D & C, since I was already starting the process. After the appointment Jeff took me to sonic to cheer me up with a burger and a shake. That night I prayed that the miscarriage would come as soon as possible.

Saturday morning we had a ward youth lake trip planned at Jeff's parents house. Jeff and I got up at 6:00 a.m and I had strong feeling that I should drive out with Jeff early instead of driving out later with Brayden. As we were driving out to his parents I started to have very painful cramping. When we got to his parents I felt like the miscarriage was going to happen any minute. Sure enough nature was taking its course. I stayed upstairs at the Lake House and I watched from a window the fun everyone was having. My mother-in-law was my personal nurse the entire morning.

After about three hours of heavy bleeding, severe cramping and feeling light headed I decided to call my doctor. After telling the doctor my situation I was told I needed to go to the ER. During this conversation we had a young women break her nose. Then we had another young women pass out due to dehydration causing the ambulance, sheriff, firefighters, and game and fish to all come to the Lake House. Due to the chaos I tried to cope with the pain and I held off going to the ER. After another half hour of extreme pain I called Jeff and asked him for a blessing and told him I needed to go to the hospital. Jeff immediately came in and gave me blessing. The blessing told me that I would have peace and comfort and that I would be okay. It also told me not to be afraid to try again to bring more spirits down because they are waiting. I am so grateful to have a husband who is worthy of holding the priesthood and that I can call upon him to use at anytime.

After the blessing I felt a little better so I decided to hold off going to the ER. Eventually I started to feel worse and I felt like I was going to pass out. After five hours of pain and bleeding I knew I had to go to the ER. Jeff drove as fast as he could to the ER. I was in so much pain I felt like throwing up and I could not even stand on my own. A nurse came out with a wheelchair and wheeled me in. I waited for about ten minutes and I started to pass out. A nurse saw how pail I was and took me in immediately. They put an IV in me and gave me medicine for the pain. I was starting to feel so much better. They then took me in for an ultrasound. It revealed I still had not passed the baby. With the help of the doctor I was able to pass it with out having a D & C.

As I was in the hospital I kept thinking how the Savior has felt my pain and so much more. Physically the only other day I have felt just as much pain was the day I delivered Brayden. At least with Brayden I was able to take a beautiful baby boy home. This experience has made Jeff and I so much more grateful for Brayden and his sweet spirit. I know that we will have to wait just a little bit longer for more sweet spirits to come into our home. So many people have said things to me that have really comforted my soul during this difficult time. I know that Lord has a plan for Jeff and I and we have to accept his time table. I know that through this trial something good will come out of it in the end.